just sometimes...

when i'm alone, all i want is to be surrounded by people...

when i'm surrounded by people, all i want is to be alone...

sometimes hearing a song, not any one in particular, can make me fall apart...

sometimes just a look or a pat on the back from a friend can throw me into a tailspin...

sometimes, when my stapler gets jammed, i throw it on the floor as hard as i can...

sometimes i say "every day's a school day" and smile at the thought of dad...

sometimes i tell the story of the hospital bringing in a little puerto rican baby instead of me and smile at the thought of mom...

sometimes i smile through my tears when i think about how lucky i was to have such amazing parents...  how every part of me is because of both of them...  although i'm sure each is taking credit for the good and blaming the other for the bad...

sometimes i fall to the floor in the living room and cry and cry and cry and cry because i can't believe that they are both gone...

but most of the time i fake my way through another day without either of them...